Gods and Monsters
by cassieisfab
Summary: Being an Adventurous woman in the 1950s wasn't a good mix. You weren't supposed to sneak out at night, Especially not to the Local freak show and you most definitely weren't supposed to befriend the freaks. and most importantly, you were not supposed to fall in love with one in particular.
1. Chapter 1

I was an angel.

You may think growing up in a wealthy household surrounded by wealthy people was a dream worth living, getting told how to dress, how to sit, how to eat and more importantly, who to talk to, was more like a nightmare i can't escape from. Do I sound like your typical seventeen year old poor rich girl? Yes.

I didn't want to be married to a wealthy businessman with three children and a white picket fence like my mother originally planned for me. Afterall, it is the 50s. Surely the American dream is for everybody and my dream is to be special.

My name is Bonnie Miller, I live in a small town located in Florida called Jupiter. Ironic that it's called Jupiter because compared to the people that live in this small town, I felt like the alien.

My mother was their leader, leading all the braindead housewives back to the mothership, one husband at a time.

Being seventeen years old means it's almost time for me to board the mothership, My younger sister Ruth is next. Difference is, Ruth was designed to be a loving housewife. She dreamed of the picket fence.

It was a late breezy night when my sister and I decided to go on our usual late night adventure, escaping down the hedge that grew underneath my window, and landing on our trimmed lawn. I helped Ruth climb down safely. She brushed her skirt and glared up at me.

"Honestly Bonnie, aren't we getting a bit too old to be sneaking out" She huffed. I looked at my sister with a guilty expression. Her brown eyes narrowed her mouth pulled into a frown. She was a pretty sight with mothers curly brown hair and fathers bright blue eyes, It was obvious why she was already engaged.

"You think Mother would let us walk out the front door in the dead of the night, so we could go explore the town whilst a murderer is lurking?"

Ruth's eyes widened at the mention of the recent murders, but stayed quiet. Silently following me into the family car. These late night adventures had been happening ever since I hit the ripe age of Fifteen. I hadn't always had the luxury of driving around, and I hadn't always been so courageous to head to the local entertainment. A freak show had been set up in our town for as long as I could remember. I was never allowed to go nor speak of it. Mother and Father were never accepting of anything that wasn't picture perfect. I suppose a freak show is the exact opposite. I didn't tell Ruth either where I planned on driving us tonight, So when I turned onto the dirt road we were forbidden from going, Ruth was confused.

"Bonnie, I understand your thirst for adventure, really I do!" she exclaimed. "But this, this is insane!"

I smiled and pulled over next to the sign that read "Bearded Lady".

"C'mon Ruth, weren't you ever curious about what went on in the red and white tents"

"No, not once. All I know is that inside those tents are freaks and monsters!" she whispered harshly.

"Can you try not to sound like our mother for one second please, I fully believe that they're people. Just like us and if you can't control yourself then I guess you'll just have to leave me here tonight" I told her as I opened the car door and stepped out onto the rough road. Ruth huffed and slid across to the driver's seat, she slammed the door and looked up at me through the side window.

'I have honestly had enough of your foolishness Bonnie, I don't intend on turning around so you either come with me, or walk back into town" I looked down at Ruth's piercing eyes.

"I'll see you in the morning baby sister" I waved goodbye at her gaping expression and started walking towards the entrance.

I looked up at the big yellow eyes that were attached to the entrance and felt my courage lessen. I could hear the repetitive crickets and feel my legs start to wobble. Entering with my sister made less attention on me, but entering alone. I would become the freak show.


	2. Chapter 2

Living in the garden of evil.

As I stepped through the entrance, I once more looked up at the crazed eyes of the devil sculpture A cold breeze shook through me and a voice telling me to turn back. I knew once I enter, I'd never be the same again. At least I hoped.

I could hear carnival tunes coming from inside the tent, and a faint woman's voice slightly louder then the music. I pushed the material of the tent aside, and stepped all the way inside.

I could only see two people in the audience which was strange and saddening. I had hoped more people in the town were more supportive of the performers. I was mistaken. I changed my focus towards the stage, a quiet gasp left my lips. In all my life I had never seen a woman with any hair other then on her head, and here I am. Staring at a woman with a beard. How remarkable. Suddenly the spotlight was no longer on the bearded woman, but on another woman.

A woman taller than any man I'd ever laid eyes on. She revealed a woman, shorter than a child. She waved towards the two members of the audience.

"The astounding mistakes of nature are gathered here for your amusement" The bearded lady announced. Her eyes landed on me, before she began talking again. The two audience members noticed she was looking far off and looked towards me. The young man's face twisted in anger. He stood up and stomped one of his elegant shoes.

"Mother, I thought you said you booked this whole act just for me!" He complained. He looked like a man, but had the behaviour of a child.

"There must be some mistake Dandy, what is the meaning of this?" She asked looking up at the bearded lady. I stepped forward and tried to explain that I had no idea, But Dandy's complaints drained out my voice. I looked up at the bearded lady and mouthed an apology then quickly left.

I walked out the exit embarrassed and flushed. Of all nights, I come on the night the spoiled man child reserved the whole venue.

I started walking down the pathway that was decorated with all the posters of the 'freaks', flicking the rocks with my shoes as I once more scolded myself.

My thoughts were interrupted when a hand wrapped around my arm, I turned my head quickly to look at the figure. Her face was old but pretty, with blonde hair and red lips. I quickly retracted my arm from her grasp.

"Come to see the show, huh?" She quizzed as she pulled a smoke from her blue German accent was strong. I could tell she wasn't impressed with me being here tonight, obviously I had upset paying customers.

"I apologize Ma'am, I didn't mean to cause such a stir, I just wanted to.."

"You just wanted to stare at my monsters for free right" She demanded.

"I have money Miss, I was only curious is all" I explained. She pursed her lips and stared at me. Stared for a second too long. She took a long drag from her cigarette and blew the smoke just past my face.

"Well, I best be leaving then.." I told her as I started to turn back towards the path.

"Far too pretty to be found hanging around these parts" She told me smiling. Anyone else and that would've sounded like a compliment, But her tone told me otherwise. I smiled weakly at the old woman.

"I'll be back Ma'am, with a ticket and all." I promised as I made my way back down the path.

The breeze was getting colder, I had no clue at what time it was, I hadn't been there long I was sure of it.

"Hey!"

I turned around at the sound of the low man's voice. I had barely made it out of the field, my journey home seemed to be getting longer and longer.

I tried to focus on the figure in the dark, but I couldn't see his face.

"Hello?"

I walked towards him slowly and cautiously. His face finally came into view and my insides fluttered. He sure was good looking. His eyes were dark, almost black. His smile was wide and inviting and dark brown hair curled around his forehead. Kinda like Elvis Presley himself.

"It ain't safe to be walking home at this time of night, 'specially not for a pretty young thing like yourself" He told me. My face heated up quickly as I tried to fight the small smile playing on my lips.

"Well sir, there really ain't much I can do about that. My sister drove off with the car so as you see, I have no other choice. But don't worry, I can take care of myself"

"You aware there's a murderer on the loose?" He demanded, looking at me like I was insane. The word murderer woke my senses. I looked around and noticed just how eerie it all looked.

"I can take you home if you'd like" He offered, I shook my head quickly.

"Let a strange man take me home? I'm just asking to be killed. I don't even know your name" I rejected.

He laughed quietly at my anxious state. I admit I must have looked like a damsel in distress. It being late at night, walking back into town and being uptight towards the handsome stranger. But honestly how was one supposed to act?

"Well, I'm Jimmy Darling. I'm actually one of the acts you were about to see. If you stayed long enough to watch that is" He teased. I looked at him, very confused. I could see no deformity, no visible one that is. He noticed my confusion. A worrisome look crossed his face, He looked down at his hands and undid the gloves that were wrapped around it. His hands slid out of the material and they came into view. A gasp left my throat without warning as I peered down at his deformed hands. It looked as if though his fingers were stuck together, they were also very oversized. His middle and index were stuck on one side of his hand, and the little and ring fingers were stuck on the other. I realised how long I had been staring and looked away. My chest heaving up and down in fright.

"Pretty ugly huh" He said harshly. I turned back to face him, shaking my head.

"Jimmy I didn't mean it like that, I just didn't expect it that's all" I replied hastily.

He looked over his shoulder and then back at me, his expression had changed from worried to gloomy. I could feel my guilt eating away at me already.

I reached out and grabbed one of his hands between mine and smiled gently. He looked down at me surprised and confused.

"You gonna take me home or what Jimmy Darling"


	3. Chapter 3

Screwed up, scared, doing anything that I needed.

Jimmy looked down at our connected hands, and then back up at me. A small smile stretched across his handsome face, he grabbed ahold of my wrist lightly and pulled me back towards the tents. I peered up at him confused.

"Jimmy, I live back there" I told him, pointing behind me.

"C'mon doll, I'm not gonna walk you back. My bike is parked next to my trailer" He told me with a sly wink. My face heated up again as I let him escort me to his bike.

Suddenly he stopped and turned towards me, with a impish grin.

"Hold on a second, How do I know you're not the murderer of our small town. I don't even know your name" He teased. I stopped in my tracks and extended my hand towards him. He took it gently.

"My name is Bonnie Miller and I can greatly assure you, I am not the killer roaming around these here parts" I laughed shaking his hand, he smiled back at me.

"Far too pretty to be a serial killer anyhow" He told me, turning back around. The rosiness appeared back on my cheeks for the second time that night. Thank the lord it's so dark out or Jimmy would be gloatin at the fact he's making me blush.

I sat on the back of the motorcycle, nervousness churning in my stomach. I had never been on the back of a motor vehicle before, especially not with a stranger I had just met. Jimmy could tell I had lack of experience. I'm sure he could feel my heart beating from a mile away. He reached behind him and grasped my shaking hands, pulling them around to his front.

"Hold on little girl" He told me, I tightened my grip on his front as I felt the bike take off. I could feel every pebble the bike hit. I could feel the wind in my hair, the breeze on my cheeks and Jimmy's racing heart through my fingertips. Or maybe that was mine.

It didn't take long for us to reach my house. He pulled up at the front and turned his bike off. I gripped Jimmy's shoulders as I tried to get off. I brushed my skirt down and looked at my home. All the lights were off and the family car was back in the driveway. I sighed in relief knowing my little sister got home safe. I turned to look at Jimmy, who was already watching me.

"Thankyou for the lift Jimmy" I smiled. I leaned forward and softly kissed his cheek.

"Anytime doll" he murmured. I spun around and started walking towards my front door, stealing a glance back at him. He caught my gaze and winked back at me. Then the sound of the engine roared and he took off, back down the forbidden road. I entered the house and went straight up to my room. I laid on the bed and smiled to myself.

Life wouldn't be the same.

The next day I was working my job at the local library. Scanning books and putting them in the basket over and over really was a bore. The events of the night before played over and over on my mind.

"Miss, can I borrow this one?"

My thoughts were interrupted by a young girl. Her long brown hair was pulled into a plait.

"Sure Aimee, Don't forget to tell your mama this has to be returned in seven days" I told her, scanning her book. She nodded, took her book and walked off. I looked up at the large clock placed on the wall. 3pm, time to leave. I grabbed my coat and waved goodbye to my boss. I looked over at the local diner and felt my insides grumble, obviously Jimmy had been on my mind so much I had forgotten to eat. I walked across to the diner. Lot more customers than usual today, making a lot more noise too. I stepped in and heard the familiar ring of the bell on the door. I looked over at the workers and saw that they looked extremely uncomfortable.

"Meatloaf! Meatloaf! Meatloaf" I heard one of the customers shout repeatedly. I watched as the waitress scribbled it down with a frown. Sure they were loud, but I didn't see the problem.

"She'll have the meatloaf!" The guy in the middle laughed. I watched as his hand patted the back of the young girl and felt my stomach do a flip.

I smiled to myself and started walking over to the large group. I stopped in my tracks when I heard a loud bang behind me. A largely built man had dropped his bucket and was glaring at the group, but mainly Jimmy, Jimmy turned around to the the source of the bang, then his eyes landed on me.

"Let me guess, this was your bright idea?" The man accused towards Jimmy, His eyes left mine and focused on the big brute. "You eat at the camp"

"We're not bothering anybody" Jimmy shot back.

"But that's not his food" The waitress interrupted motioning towards the man with short arms. "I'm gonna have to bust this plate" She said as she reached for the food in front of him.

"Susan, what's the difference, you're just going to throw it out anyway?" I told her. The group turned to look at me, except for Susan. She glared. The large man walked over and hit the short armed man, I stood back frightened.

"Hey!" Jimmy yelled slapping the brute man in the shoulder. "What's the problem here, Like Bonnie said. She was gonna throw it out anyway"

The room grew quiet and tense. I reached for Jimmy and pulled on his arm. The brute man slowly picked up the plate and hovered it above Jimmy.

"Like this" He sneered and tipped the food onto Jimmy's lap.

"I have the right to refuse service" The Store owner announced. The young girl started shouting "Meatloaf" over and over again causing a domino effect, everybody started shouting.

"Let's just leave, You don't need to listen to these people" I scoffed glaring at the brute man. Before Jimmy could get up, the man grabbed his shoulders and lifted him up roughly. I nudged the man and stood in front of Jimmy. The man looked down at me and I glared back up at him.

"You give these folks a free show, who's gonna wanna buy tickets" He scoffed at Jimmy. He looked around in disgust at the 'freaks'.

"C'mon you stupid freaks let's go"

"Hey!" I shouted. He turned around and glared at me. "Don't call them that! They're people!"

"You wanna control your friend Jimmy, right now" He spat, Jimmy pulled me behind him, glaring at the man.

"I said, lets go!" He sneered grabbing Jimmy by the shoulder ripping him outside. I grabbed onto Jimmy's hand and tried pulling him back, But I couldn't. The other guy had a better grip. He slammed Jimmy into a post, winding him and landed a punch on his cheek. I rushed forward trying to pull the man away from Jimmy, The man shoved me backwards causing me to land on my side. I could hear Jimmy's groans as hit after hit was landed. I looked around, searching for help. But all I could see was Jimmy's friends, watching from inside. One last hit was struck against Jimmy before he hit the ground next to me. I crawled over and tried helping him up, but he was too heavy and wounded. Jimmy looked at me through hooded eyes, his bottom lip was bleeding and a small bruise was beginning to form on his eye. A small smile was creeping along his battered face.

"You okay sugar?" He whispered. I nodded wiping the blood from his bottom lip.

"How bout yourself?"

"Just fine"


	4. Chapter 4

Shining like a fiery beacon.

I was sitting at the family dinner table later that night, Ruth, Mother and Father were all chatting away about their day. I was sitting quietly, picking at the dinner in front of me. Thinking of Jimmy and that man that somehow knew him. Obviously he was from the show, but why did he think he could hold such a power over Jimmy. It was without a doubt Elsa who ran the show.

"Something wrong with your dinner dear" My mother questioned. I looked up from my plate and met Mother's eyes. I shook my head, forcing a smile.

"No mom, I'm just not very hungry is all" I explained. Mother cocked one eyebrow and nodded, taking my plate from in front of me and placing it on the counter, wrapping it in glad wrap and setting it in the fridge. An automatic housewife process I suppose.

"Well anyway as I was saying, Patty is having another tupperware party and all us ladies are invited" Mother gushed and turned to Ruth. "Ruth honey, it'll prepare you for the life of a wife" She said stroking Ruth's hair. Ruth's eyes sparkled with excitement. Mother turned to me and her smile lessened. "And I suppose you'll just have to play make believe, since you haven't got suitors lining up at our doorstep" she laughed cruelly. Once again, forcing a smile on my face and nodding.

"Of course mother."

I excused myself from the table and headed up to my room, closing my white double doors behind me. I leaned my back against it and sighed. What a day. I walked over to my vanity table and sat down on the stool. I gazed at myself in the mirror with disappointment. Boring brown eyes. Large bushy eyebrows and dull brown hair. Not blonde like most of the dames in town. I quickly brushed my hair and crawled into bed, ready for a deep slumber.

I was drifting off when I heard a knock on my door. My eyes fluttered open and I sat up.

"Come in"

The door opened slowly and Ruth creeped it, closing the door quietly behind her. She sauntered over to my bed and sat down. Her eyes met mine and a slow guilty smile made it's way onto her face. This was the first time we had been able to be alone since she left me at the freak show.

"Dearest Sister, how am I ever going to get you to forgive me for leaving you abandoned and all alone" She sighed dramatically. I fought back a smile as I shook my head at her.

"If I seem to remember correctly, it was me who told you to leave"

"Yes but I actually left!" She whispered. "How'd you get home anyhow"

My eyes averted away from hers as a small smile spread across my lips, thinking of sweet Jimmy always did this. My sister's eyes widened in excitement as she hit my arm lightly.

"Did you meet somebody Bonnie?" She demanded smiling.

"No-Well I mean yes but he's not.."

"Tell me everything!"

"You won't like this story, trust me" I warned. Remembering how she reacted to being in the same area as them. Imagining how she would react if she knew her sister was sweet on one.

"Don't be silly, I love who you love!" She smiled, squeezing my shoulder reassuringly.

I shook my head at her. No way was I going to tell her. Then she'd tell Mother and everybody knows she would drive Jimmy and all his friends straight out of town.

"I'm real tired Ruth, can we talk about this tomorrow" I asked, faking a yawn. She frowned at me but nodded. Ruth got up off the bed and walked towards the door. She almost left, but turned around as she was halfway out.

"I want you to come to me with these things Bonnie, I'm your little sister" She whispered, a sad smile on her face. She left with me feeling torn.

The next day was Patty's tupperware party and I was as bored as anything already, I was sitting down next to Ruth on Patty's sofa as tupperware was passed around continuously. Talking about how well packed and how fresh it all tastes thanks to this container. I couldn't be more disinterested if I tried. Patty got up from her chair and clasped her hands together.

"Alright ladies, now the real fun begins" She squealed, smirking at the other housewives. They all had knowing looks on their faces.

"What real fun?" I asked.

"Our special guest, he's arrived in the back. Which gives me an idea!" She grinned. She walked towards me and took my arm gently leading me away from the group.

"You always seem so unexcited at these things Bonnie, let me show you what these parties are really for" She snickered leading me into the hallway.

"Patty I'm real confused, where are we going?" I asked, nervously. Everything was so dim.

"Through that door honey, come back when you're finished" She giggled and then left through the door.

I glanced around confused as I turned the handle and cracked the door open. I crept in slowly peering around, the room was lit with one candle and smelt like men's cologne.

"Hey baby, come on in" A familiar voice called out. I walked further in and saw Jimmy on the bed, leaning on a pillow. Confusion filled his face when he saw me. And I'm sure mine did the same.

"Jimmy?" I demanded, turning the lights on.

"What in the hell are you doing in here?" Jimmy urged, running a hand through his hair, clearly agitated.

"Me? This is a woman's dinner party! Why are you back here like a dirty secret" I hushed marching over to him.

"I guess what's exactly what you could call me! Didn't they explain what was goin on back here dollface" he smirked, dragging his eyes from my feet to my face. I scoffed and turned away from him.

"Actually no, but I think I got a pretty good idea now" I muttered, crossing my arms over my chest.

"C'mon toots, don't get all wound up" He joked, putting his hand on my shoulder. I spun back around facing him with a burning look on my face.

"Or what Jimmy, you gonna do what you do best and unwind me?" I challenged, peering up at him. Jimmy's eyes widened and he scanned my face, seeing if I was serious or not. I pushed him away from me and turned to leave. Not wanting to spend another minute in his company. Jimmy stood up quickly and grabbed my elbow pulling me back.

"Why are you so upset huh? I'm a freak! It's not like I can have a normal job or anything. My only source of income is this and the show, what else am i supposed to do Bon?" He demanded and turned away from me, sitting on the bed. "I can't even have a dame yknow, everytime I try and get close to a girl, they see these!" He shouts holding up his deformed hands. "And they run. I come here and they welcome it" He tells me. I shake my head and sat next to him.

"No Jimmy, they use you. You don't deserve somebody who treats you like a dirty secret, especially not married ones" I scoff.

"What other choice do I have, this is my life" He utters motioning around the room.

"You're better than this Jimmy" I whisper leaning my head on his shoulder. I felt his body move and I glanced up and saw him peering down at me, his eyes slowly traced down my lips and back up to my eyes. My heart beat increased rapidly, my cheeks heated up as his face moved slowly closer to mine. Wrapping one hand around my waist. His lips almost touching mine.

Suddenly the door flew open, breaking us apart. My face flushed and his hand still gripping my waist. I looked towards the door and saw Patty standing in the doorway.

"Excuse me Lobster boy, haven't you finished her off yet?" She demanded walking over towards us. She gripped my arm pulling me up off the bed.

"His name is Jimmy!" I spat at her. "And he's not some toy you can control" I told her ripping my arm from her grasp. She gasped and glared at me.

"How dare you speak to me like that! This is my house, leave now Bonnie!" She demanded.

"With pleasure" I snarled. I turned to look at Jimmy. He looked up at me with a small smirk on his face.

"Right behind you toots" He announced, scowling at Patty.

"Oh Lobster boy, I suspect you haven't forgotten the rules" She glared. "Freaks leave through the back door!"

I gave Patty a dirty look, Jimmy grabbed my wrist and pulled me out before I could say anything. Leading me out the back door.

Jimmy drove me out near his home before pulling over on the side of the road. He turned off the bike and turned his head to look back at me. I unwrapped my arms from his waist and slid off the bike.

"Y'know Bonnie, you gotta be the first person who isn't like me, to stick up for us freaks" He murmured looking up at me. I smiled timidly at him. "I gotta take you back to camp, everybody will love ya, you had them all talkin the other day. About how you tried savin me from Dell. They thought you were real brave. Real different" He grinned.

"What are we waiting for then, let's go?" I laughed, hopping back on the bike, and wrapping my arms around his middle. He started the bike up again and rode towards camp.


	5. Chapter 5

You got that medicine I need.

Jimmy's bike came to a slow halt as we pulled into his home lot. I slid off the bike and looked around. It looked less scary during the day. It looked like a circus, not a devil's playground.  
"So this is home huh" I asked, facing Jimmy. He leaned one elbow on his bike and sighed.  
"Yeah, I guess it is, you comin toots?" He asked, motioning his head towards the entrance. I nodded and followed him into the lot. He reached out and linked our hands, pulling me around the tents and into the center of the camp.  
Everybody was too busy to take notice of us at first, The bearded lady was handing out cutlery, Two girls who seemed conjoined at the hips were talking to that tall woman from the first night. Everybody was really just doing their own thing. Jimmy walked closer to them, tugging me with him.  
"Guys!" Jimmy shouted, getting everybody's attention. They all stopped what they were doing and turned to Jimmy. Jimmy turned to me and smiled.  
"This is Bonnie, Bonnie Miller, the dame from the diner" He announced. They all turned their focus to me, a few smiled. Most waved. Except for the left twin on the conjoined body. She glared. The first to introduce herself was the bearded lady, she strolled up to me, and reached her hand out.  
"This here is Ethel, my Ma" He smiled. I grinned at Ethel and took her hand, Ethel smiled deeply at me, real appreciation in her eyes.  
"Sure is nice to meet the girl who's got my boy smitten" She teased. Jimmy's face went a deep shade of red before he shook his head and turned away.  
"It's great to meet you too Ma'am" I giggled, blushing bad. The next was a man who had ink up to his neck and arms that resemble flippers.  
"The names Paul, Ya know, I was in the diner when you stood up for Jimmy here, great sight to see" He told me, nodding graciously. I smiled back, not knowing what to say. The next was Amazon Eve, Pepper, Ma Petite, and last, the conjoined twins. Bette and Dot.  
"It's really quite lovely to meet you!" Bette smiled, I smiled back at her.  
"You too Bette, I've never met siamese sisters before!"  
"With the way you're staring, you better start buying tickets" Dot snapped. I furrowed my eyebrows and backed back a bit.  
"I didn't mean to offend you Dot" I told her.  
"Leave then!" She spat. I felt Jimmy's arm wrap around my waist.  
"C'mon Dot, leave Bon alone. She aint doin nothin" Jimmy demanded. Dot kept her cold eyes on me, but Bette looked embarrassed and ashamed of her sister's behaviour. Jimmy wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me away, I turned my head slightly and smiled at the group.  
"Wonderful meetin you all!"

I couldn't believe Jimmy had introduced me to one of his lady friends, obviously she wasn't going to take a liking to me! I could feel the anger penting up inside as we walked closer and closer to his trailer, I stopped in my tracked and turned to face Jimmy.  
"You are a real jerk Jimmy Darling" I huffed and started walking faster to his trailer.  
"Wha-Hey!" He yelled, catching up. I walked into his trailer and sat on his couch roughly, arms crossed over my chest. Flushed cheeks and fiery eyes. I was embarrassed and I don't do well with embarrassment at all. He entered his trailer and shot me a confused look. I avoided his piercing eyes.  
"What is your problem lady?" He exclaimed slamming the trailer door behind him. I stood up immediately and pointed a menacing finger at him.  
"You can't bring a girl into your home, when you've already got a lady friend. And you especially can't introduce them to each other!" I snapped at him. I could feel my blood boiling more and more. I needed to get out of here before I embarrass myself further.  
His eyes furrowed in confusion, he held his hands up in defence.  
"Woah toots, were we talkin to the same people then? Dot ain't a lady friend"  
I rolled my eyes and sat back on the couch, crossing my came and sat down next to me, wrapping an arm around my waist. I tried shrugging him off but he held tighter.  
"Jimmy let me go" I whispered.  
"I don't get why you're so wound up doll, I'm a good lookin guy, you're bound to get some competition" He joked, ruffling up my dark hair. I could feel his joking attitude cut away at my jealous one. I fought back a smile as I lightly punched his arm. He smiled at me and quickly kissed my cheek and then stood up.  
"Gonna be late for the show, let's go" He told me holding out his gloved hand.

"Ladies and Gentleman, from the exotic land of Siam, The spectacular siamese sisters!" Dell announced motioning the the curtain. It opened to reveal Bette and Dot. Dot with the same serious expression she had when she first met me, I'm sure as day she was looking my way too, but that's probably because standing right next to me was Jimmy. Her sweetheart.

"I've been a bad bad girl, I've been careless with a delicate man" She sings, staring straight at Jimmy, I looked up at him and noticed him smiling back at her. The crowd get up from their seats and head towards the front of the stage, pushing each other over for the attention of the woman with the angelic voice.  
"And it's a sad sad world, when a girl will break a boy just because she can"  
I watched the eye locking action that was going on between Dot and Jimmy, feeling my insides boil with rage once again, I clasped my hands in front of my dress and squeezed them, hoping that would ease some of the anger that was so willing to come out, I watched Jimmy smile and nod along to the music. Smile and nod along to her voice. Dot smiling at him.  
"I need some air" I told him quickly and turned to leave, Jimmy grabbed my arm looked at me confused.  
"You alright doll? You seem tense"  
"I'm fine, I just need some air, you enjoy her show Jimmy Darling" I mumbled and nearly ran out of the tent. Jealousy was clearly my biggest downfall. I was insecure and felt damn rotten about it. I felt a large hand clasp the back of my shoulder, I pulled away quickly and spun around to find Dell standing there.  
"Can I help you?" I sneered. He wasn't surprised at my rudeness towards him. I'm guessin he expected it.  
"You shouldn't be here, Your kind don't belong hangin around these freaks" He spat and looked back at the tent in disgust. I felt the anger pent up inside me again, mixing with earlier jealousy and bitterness, and now this. I was a fiery mess and god help anybody who fooled with me right now.  
"Listen here you cowardly brute!" I hissed, moving a step closer. "You don't get to tell me who my kind can hang around, as far as I'm concerned sir, they're my kind as much as they are yours and I'll be damned if I'm gonna stand here and listen to your stupid thoughts on my friend Jimmy Darling, You hear me?!" I spat.  
"How dare you speak to me like that, you little brat!" He bellowed shoving me into the ground, hard.  
"Get the hell away from her!" I heard Jimmy yell. Dell's large body was standing over me, He turned around to the sound of the voice, but was met with a hard right hook against his nose, sending him spiralling backwards into the ground. Jimmy grabbed my waist and lifted me up, dragging me away from the large man who was seemingly knocked out cold.

He opened his trailer door and pushed me inside. His whole demeanor coming off angry as all hell. He was pacing back and forth in his little trailer. He stopped mid step and faced me, pointing a menacing finger in my direction.  
"What in the hell were you thinkin little girl?!" He snapped. "Gettin into a squabble with that man is bad news and your pretty head should have known better!"  
"I didn't start that Jimmy!" I argued back, crossing my arms over my chest and landing on his couch.  
"Yeah, well you should know better then finishing things also! Girls ain't supposed to be involved in fights"  
"I was handlin myself just fine, thank you very much!" I muttered, avoiding eye contact.  
"Handlin yourself just fine on your ass in the mud?" He laughed, his mood lightening up.  
I huffed and stood up making my way for the door.  
"I don't have to take this, you're making fun of me"  
Jimmy grabbed my waist from behind and spun me around and pressed me softly against the door. I was now facing him and felt my insides twist and flutter at the sight of him. His dark eyes burning into mine. A small smile on his lips.  
"I'm sorry darlin, I was just worried about ya" He admitted.  
"Are you sure you're not just mad because I interrupted your little moment with Dot?" I murmured, looking away from him.  
"You sure are a jealous little dame, ain't ya" He laughed poking my side, I jolted forward and slapped his hands away.  
"Don't do that Jimmy Darling!" I gasped pulling away from him.  
"Oh why not toots?" He laughed doing it again, causing me to jolt forward. I slapped his hands away again and tried moving away once again. He grabbed me around the waist and pushed me onto the couch, then stood over me and poking both sides of my waist laughing.  
"No Jimmy! Stop!" I pleaded giggling uncontrollably.  
"I'll stop on one condition" He told me, I nodded, still laughing.  
"Anything, just stop!"  
"Close your eyes" He ordered.  
"Jimmy Darling, I don't trust you to do the right thing" I teased, he made a motion that he was going to torture me once more, so I quickly shut my eyes. I felt the couch shift as jimmy joined me. I felt my heart speed up when I felt him move closer towards me. I felt his hand on my waist and the other gently holding my neck.  
Next I felt his lips press gently against mine. His lips slowly moved against my own and he shifted his body so he was in between my legs.  
"Are you gonna kiss me back doll?" He whispered as his lips moved to my cheek and grazing over my neck, causing goosebumps all over. He made his way back to my lips, but didn't make a move to kiss me. His eyes locked into mine, my face was heating up more and more by the second and my hands were clammy. I was nervous that's for sure, But I didn't want Jimmy thinking I didn't want it. Didn't want him.  
My hand reached up to the back of his head, and gently pulled his face down closer to mine. Our lips met again, his body before felt like a feather, but he was pushing his body into mine as the kiss went from innocent to sinful, as his kisses got harder and he pushed his tongue in so he could deepen the kiss.  
I'd never been kissed by any boy like this before, I was a virtuous girl. I pulled away gently, only for Jimmy to change his attention to my neck, kissing that as if he was kissing my lips. His hands went from my waist up to my chest, I snatched his hands away quickly. He stopped his attack on my neck and lifted his head up to look at me.

"What's the matter toots?" he whispered. His eyes searching mine for an explanation as to why I won't let him go any further.  
"Nothing"  
"Then why'd you stop me?" He asked, running his hands up and down my back. I shook my head and grabbed his head again pulling him back down, trying to slow down the kiss, not letting it get as heated. He tried deepening the kiss, but I stopped him each time. He started getting frustrated and ran his hands down my back. I let out a squeal of surprise as he grabbed my behind and squeezed. He slipped his tongue in my mouth and ran his hands along my thighs, he grabbed my leg and threw it over his hip. I felt his hand move from my thigh under my dress and across my underwear.  
"Okay, that's enough!" I groaned pushing him gently off me. I looked up at Jimmy and boy was he a sight. His hair was everywhere, my lipstick was smudged across his face and his eyes were blacker than usual.  
"Did I do something wrong?" He panted.  
"Jimmy, I can't do this!" I cried, standing up quickly.  
"Why not?" He demanded.  
"Because I'm not that kind of girl!"  
"The kind of girl who lets freaks touch her, is that right?!" He accused, laughing bitterly.  
"Jimmy! You know I'm not like that" I reached for his hand and pulled him towards me. He looked down at me, anger slowly disappearing. I held his hands in mine gently, kissing his cheek, he pulled away roughly and turned around.  
"I've been hurt by pretty girls before Bonnie, I think you should go" He snapped, not facing me. I felt tears well up in my eyes and a sob escape my lips before I could stop it.  
"Who's hurting who, Jimmy?"


	6. Chapter 6

Fame, liquor, love, give it to me slowly.

Jimmy and I hadn't spoken for days. Four days to be precise. Jimmy had shown his real colours and I guess I had shown mine. I guess bein apart of a circus act who are shunned by society, you don't really have any morals left. So maybe he was used to gettin it and givin it whenever he damn well pleased. Probably went and got it off Dot as soon as I left. And Dot would have been more than happy to fill his tank. I hate thinkin like this. Jimmy seemed so perfect, I knew he'd be exciting and I wasn't ready to let go of him yet. As much as I had admittin it, Jimmy Darling was the best part of my short life.

I picked at my breakfast that had been so perfectly made on a shiny china plate, I looked up and caught Ruth staring at me from across the table. A worrisome expression across her porcelain doll face. I sighed and got up from the table roughly. My mother stopped eating and looked up at me.

"Bonnie, you haven't touched your meal. Sit back down please" She told me bluntly.  
"I'm not hungry, I think I'm gonna go take a walk. Go see all the halloween decorations"  
"I'll come with you" Ruth announced, getting up. I rolled my eyes and walked towards the front door.  
"Girls, put something warm on, it's freezing out"

Ruth and I were walking in silence, I was pretending to look at all the costumes, But really I was wallowing in self pity. Why hasn't Jimmy been around? Was Dot taking up all his time now that I was out of the picture. I bet she'd lie next to him whenever and wherever he asked her to. And he would, ask her.

"Bonnie?" I snapped out of my thoughts and turned my head to look at ruth. I didn't say anythin, just waited for her to continue.  
"Are you gonna tell me whats troublin you? I hate seein you like this"  
"Like what?" I mumbled, stopping in my tracks.  
"Heartbroken, I can tell. Hell, I haven't seen ya like this since Bobby Foreman told everybody you smelled like socks in the second grade" She mused. I felt a little smile crack on my face. Kids are mean.  
"I can't tell you Ruth, it's messy"  
"You can tell me anything, you know that" She said, nudging her elbow against mine. I drew in a deep breath, turned my whole body in her direction and stuck out my pinky finger.  
"You have to swear you won't breathe a word of this to anybody, not to mama, not to your little tea party friends, nobody!" She stuck out her pinky finger and linked it with mine.  
"I swear it, now tell me!" She exclaimed grinning.  
"I met a man" I whispered. Her eyes lighting up with excitement. "At the freakshow" Her grin dropped and her eyes widened in shock.  
"Like, he was another customer?"  
"No, he was an act"  
"Bonnie! Has mother really caused your self esteem to go so low, you gotta find a man who aint right?!" I rolled my eyes and scoffed, stepping away from her.  
"I'll have you know Jimmy is a perfectly handsome man who has a voice like caramel and makes me trip over my tongue more than any boy in this town, more than little Bobby Foreman, I can tell you that right now" A smile started building on her face, and she stepped one step closer to me.  
"Well what are we waitin for, let's go find this Jimmy boy" She laughed, grabbing my hand and pulling me back home.  
"No Ruth, I didn't even tell you the whole story!" I protested, ripping my arm from her tight grasp. She turned around and rolled her eyes.  
"Honey, whatever this man did wrong, You'll have face him one way or another. You said so yourself, He has you more hooked than a fish on a fishing rod, more than any greasy boy in town" She ranted getting the keys from her purse and unlocking the car. She rested her arms on the top of our car and looked at me.  
"Are you gonna get in or be a chicken?" She teased. I closed my eyes, let out a deep breath and shook my head.  
"Why do I let you talk me into these things"

Ruth pulled up on the same dirt road we drove on so many nights ago. I felt my palms start to dampen, and my breathing quicken.  
"I can't do this Ruth"  
"Sure ya can" She giggled getting out of the car. "And look, somebody's comin" She said pointing towards the tent. I looked up, and sure enough. It was Jimmy Darling.

"Hey ladies, Our show isn't playing right now" He said, shooting a smile. Ruth gave me a knowing look and then turned back towards Jimmy.  
"I'm not here for the show, I'm here to meet one of your acts"  
"Well who are you lookin for, I can help ya find them" Ruth smiled and turned towards the car, smirking right at me.  
"What did you say his name was again Bonnie, Jimmy right?" I looked up at Jimmy wide eyed. Now I was real nervous.  
"Bonnie?" He called out, walking towards the car, He leaned over and stared through my passenger side window. No smile. No glare. Nothin.  
"Hey Jimmy" I whispered. He opened the car door and grabbed my arm to pull me out roughly.  
"Where the hell you been, I haven't seen ya in days and you show up with that?" He yelled.  
"Hang on there Mister, my dear sister here has been moping around our house for days, so whatever reason for her not bein here, that rests on you" She snapped, still smiling.  
"Ruth" I warned, feeling heat rush to my cheeks. Jimmy stared down at me with guilt etching over his handsome features.  
"I'm guessin you two have quite a bit to talk about, I'll leave you two lovers to discuss that" Ruth winked and slid back into her car. "And Jimmy, I trust you'll take her home?"  
"Sure will"

Ruth drove off and the awkwardness hung in the air between Jimmy and I. Neither of us spoke a word. I kept biting my bottom lift and Jimmy was kicking pebbles.  
"I guess this was a mistake, me comin back here" I whispered, breaking the silence. I gave Jimmy one last hopeful glance and turned away.  
"Bon, don't go" He said, wrapping his hand around my arm. I glanced back at him.  
"Why not, you obviously don't wanna see me? I'm sorry that I couldn't give you what you wanted, I'm sure you found somebody else to fill your needs anyho-" Jimmy cut me off with a searing kiss. I was so shocked I lost my footing and started falling backwards. Jimmy tried grabbing my hand to pull me towards him but pulled too hard and caused me to fall the other way, sending us both flying backwards. I landed right on top of him. We both landed with a groan on the rocky path.  
I pushed on the ground to lift myself off Jimmy's chest and stared down at him.  
"Do you always kiss girls unexpectedly like that" I huffed, dusting off my dress. He laughed and shook his head.  
"Only the pretty ones who won't shut up" 


End file.
